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How To Survive Tour: A Band’s Guide

Our Last Enemy band picLife on the road can present many challenges. Especially when you are on a rigorous tour schedule. For example, showers aren’t always easy to come by. Maybe your schedule requires you leave straight after a gig in order to make it to the next gig on time. Or maybe you just don’t have the luxury of a hotel room where you can have a shower. In any case, there’s nothing worse than sweating your ass off on stage and then not being able to get clean. This is one of the many problems that have been plaguing touring musicians for decades. So here are some tips that will change your life forever.

For those times when a shower isn’t available, you can use a baby shower head to attach to any tap such as a sink in a public restroom (just make sure there’s a floor drain or you’ll flood the place).

2) Baby wipes
For those times when you need a shower but running water is hard to find.

3)  Condoms
So you don’t get an S.T.I. when you reap the rewards of your pure awesomeness – DUH!

4) Bottled water
Water is well known for it’s ability to keep people well hydrated, but it serves a more important purpose on the road. Opening beer bottles! That’s right. How many times have you had heaps of beer but no way to open it? Gone are the days of trying to open it on the edge of the table on your tour bus, causing damage that you will certainly have to pay for! Here are full instruction on how to open a bottle of beer using only a bottle of water.

1) Find a full water bottle. Due to the amount of force it will take to pop the cap off of the bottle of beer, you will need a full, unopened water bottle or a full water bottle with a tight cap. The bottle could have been opened, but it must be full.

2) Grip the beer bottle by the neck tightly with your dominant hand. Hold the bottle by the neck as close to the top as possible as you will be using the water bottle in a levered motion to remove the beer bottle’s cap. The water bottle is the “lever” and your finger will act as the fulcrum. Keep your thumb closest to your chest as this will give you the best overall grip and help prevent the beer bottle from slipping out of your hand onto the floor.

3) Wedge the water bottle under the lip of the beer bottle cap while simultaneously touching the cap against the neck. Hold the bottle at a 45-degree angle in order to get enough leverage to pop the cap off. Make sure your fingers are close together on the water bottle as you will need all the strength of your hand to pop the cap off of the beer bottle.

4) Press the water bottle against the cap with a quick upwards motion while keeping the bottle firm, in the upright position. The bottle cap should come off due to the physics of leveraging. Plastic bottles prevent the glass of the beer bottles from being damaged. Using anything but plastic may result in glass breakage and possibly, severe injuries.

If you are still unclear on how to make this work, please refer to this video


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Angela Mastrogiacomo

Founder of Infectious Magazine & Muddy Paw Public Relations. Lover of passion, ice cream, and books.

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