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THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I’VE LEARNED: The Music Is Only Half Real

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Alright, you’ve read the Buzzfeed style title and have thus been sucked in by my ruse. You’re here, why not stay for a bit, I’ve only been given 500 words so you won’t waste too much time.

The most important thing I’ve learned is actually something I came to terms with far too late in my ‘career’ and as such I bring it to you, here, hopefully early doors, so you can interact with it in any way you see fit. Perhaps a lot of it will sound like the murmurs of a broken record you’ve heard many times prior in old diners, but stick with me because I’m going to try phrase it less wankily, though probably fail.

What I learnt recently (albeit through lots of expensive therapy, so no credit to me) and wish to share with you all, is that music is sometimes only a vehicle.

I made some music once. I thought it was great, and still do. I’m very proud of it, and proud of myself for throwing it together, all that time ago. However something I did not realise for a very long time indeed was that the music I had made with those two great people wasn’t just a combination of notes and sounds, but also a vehicle which helped me channel a lot of bogus stuff I was feeling at the time. Music is great in that respect, and can be very cathartic, however the strength of that link can cause some issues. I think. It did for me anyway.

Occasionally I would play that music for people, and they wouldn’t react in the way I had hoped. Sometimes I would expect a certain online response, which I didn’t get. When your subconscious has decided that your feelings surrounding, say, your life and your loved ones and that music you made are intrinsically linked, those less than ideal reactions can be very hard to accept.

It can be important to try and remind yourself that those things may be very linked indeed, but mostly to you. No one is going to feel what it is that you may feel, and that’s ok. They can’t, it’s your music, your story, your feeling. Basically, don’t cry (for me Argentina). Realising this won’t cheapen the relationship you have with either your feelings or your music, but hopefully help categorise them somewhat, so you don’t end up awake at 5am wondering why people aren’t manifesting their love for your chord progressions the same way you are whilst you’re actually thinking about say, your dead dad. Sorry that was a bit heavy.

That very awareness has enabled me to make some of that music again. I hope this resonates with one of you and maybe has a similar effect, because music is pretty sick and a lot of the sickest stuff comes from the weird dark places in the back of your head and that’s complicated.


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Managing Editor of this lovely magazine! Music is my passion & I aim to make people love it as much as I do. I love concerts, cats, & quoting song lyrics on social media.

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